Blog

February 11, 2020. A personal Reflection.

2/10/2020

So, today is February 11th.

It’s a beautiful day. It’s a new day. We’re lucky we have this new day.

February 11th, 2011 was a different day. It was the day I was told my husband would not survive.

For over two months, this was a message repeated by nurses, doctors, even from the look on our custodian’s face.

It’s a day we celebrate as the first day of the rest of our lives.

But it’s not all celebration. We have so many emotions. For me, the feelings, the intense trauma resurfaces, and I get a bit melancholy. I get into a state of remembering. The memory is almost embedded in my DNA. I feel it to my bones, the shock, the survival mode, the fear, which I pushed down to be able to cope and live in hope.

So it is a day of remembrance. For Danny and I, we feel the periphery of all these emotions for a few weeks leading up to this date. We feel the gratitude, the appreciation, and the humility of our good fortune.

But every year since 2011, I have let myself feel again, all the things I probably didn’t really let myself feel when Danny was fighting for his life.

Mr. Cribby was then (and is now) a beloved teacher. I had to message in the Caringbridge blog the daily ins and outs of his battle in a way that was an amelioration x100 of what was really happening to him. His students, mine, the community, were all praying for him, thinking of him, hoping.

Hoping.

And I needed to honor their hope.

When I re-read the blogs that I wrote to keep our community updated, I cannot fathom how I made his daily dire circumstances sound as if there was any hope.

I don’t know what begat what, in all of this, in his miraculous recovery. Did his daily abiding love and care for his students leverage more love? Did my framing of his condition give hope, which led to positivity? Did the love that was pouring in, in forms of prayer, thought, and intention, change his circumstances to provide more hope? Did our friends and family, their constant care of us, uplift us? Did his sheer strength and will pull him through? Did all of it come together in a synergistic blast of love that healed?

All of these questions don’t really matter. I know this.

He survived. Love matters. We are blessed.

What happened to him led to the most beautiful event that provides support to others, every year. And, Mr. Cribby won’t like this. But he’s a hero. He’s a hero to all. And today, selfishly, my hero.

Goal: we get to help the Happy Smackah continue to thrive to help others.
Gratitude: this day. Every day. And our friends, who are our family, and our family, who surrounded us with all we needed so all of the energy could be for Danny to fight, and for me to have courage and purpose.

8 Comments

This old Dog is learning a lot more from the young'uns.

2/4/2019

2 Comments

I must find a way to hold myself accountable for publishing my blogs more regularly.

I’ve written that line quite a lot.

I am going to be okay with this blog being about a few things, and I’m going to get this out.

Here is the not “gist” of this blog. Just a quick musing: I’ve been conferencing with students about what they’re reading/writing/passionate about. I’ve had a few students tell me that I probably wouldn’t like the book they are loving or their book/narrative they are writing because, “Ms. Cribby, you cry easily, and I know you probably wouldn’t like this.”

Here is why they say that and why I’m more than okay with their perspective.

I do cry easily.

I’m not talking about blubbery tears, I’m talking about showing emotion. I show my students who I am. I show them myself as a human.

I show them my humanity. I show them that I am engaged in life, learning, being human. I’m not afraid of showing emotion, at the right times. The right times means they are safe, and we are exploring literature, ideas, and I am responding as a learner in the class.

They know I have a tender heart. They also know I have a fierce soul and a strong sense of purpose. They know they can trust me as the adult in the room, but they also know that who they are can always move me and make me better. Make me think differently. They know I’m confident enough to be the adult in the room that takes joy in learning from them.

At least I hope they know that. I know many do. I hope they all do.

I share myself with my students. I treat them as people and co-learners. Sure, I’m an expert. I’m pretty expert in language arts content, and I’m definitely the most expert with the writing process, because of my age alone. But I’m not the expert about who they are. I’m not expert on them as people and learners. They are. So, I need to hold myself as the listener to their learning and thinking. Often times, frankly, when I sit and listen and learn from them, I get, yes, moved. Yes, sometimes, teary.

It’s because the older and wiser (about some things) I get, the more I recognize how much I have to learn from everyone, and especially, most especially, from my students.

I don’t feel weak because of my growth and vulnerability. I feel strong and empowered. It is my greatest hope for all of my students.

I’m hoping my students are reading this and laughing at how I can also bark. Loudly, if needed.

The older I get, the more I realize I must be honest and authentic to the most important people in my life, and I confess, the people who get the most of me are my students. I have been so lucky to have had the most amazing mentors and role models during these 25+ years of teaching.

Here is the bulk of this blog. As an 8th grade teacher in the most wonderful system of progressing with our students, I am just moved beyond all I’ve ever felt (that really is not hyperbole), about what our students are reflecting in their own learning.

This blog started because I am so moved beyond words by what my students do, what they share and create. What they do when I give them some direction, and I step aside.

Here is the first student self-evaluation that motivated me to publish this blog:

After looking at the rubric and looking back over my book study essay, I think that I deserve a 4. I think that I deserve a 4 on this for a variety of reasons. The first reason why I think that I deserve a 4 is because my essay is thorough, complete, and someone could learn about how theme impacts various aspects of the story. I go in depth about how love impacts the characters, important events, and how it is built over time. I use quotes from the text to support this as well which adds another layer of reliability and validity. It makes it more accurate and shows that my point/ideas are textually proven. I use proper language and make sure that the format is easy to follow. The information is on task and little to none of my essay drifts off from the main idea/topic. I made sure that the transitions were smooth and that the paragraph doesn’t just cut off in the middle of an idea. I also did my best to not repeat information or ideas. This adds to the flow and makes it easier to learn from as well as makes it easier for someone to read it. This way, someone can get the most possible knowledge and understand from this essay.

Not only did I demonstrate all of the requirements, I exceeded in research. I knew that I had some questions about certain things I needed to know in order for this book study to reach it’s full potential. So, I guided myself in thorough research. This shows that I not only know how to craft an essay, it shows that I have a good understanding of how to do proper research and then apply that to a product. That is something that we are always learning about and focussing on in class. By demonstrating this, this connects this project to other aspects of class, not just one single assignment. I made sure that this project wasn’t isolated from a world of ideas. I made sure that it got to touch the ideas from previous dates. These are all metaphors, which is another thing I applied to my writing. I added proper terms to make it more appealing and friendly. Let’s face it, I have a close to four page essay as my project. By adding slight details such as figurative language, it makes it much more inviting and easier for someone to read. Overall, I think that I deserve a 4 on my literary project, which I have decided to be a book study. I think that I deserve a 4 because it is thorough, complete, and could be a valuable resource for students to learn from. It meets all the requirements as well as going above and beyond. I think that I deserve a 4 on my literary project.

I have spent my entire career hoping, dreaming, of what this student expresses as their experience. They just need me to mostly step aside while they fly.

And then, here is another:

Unfortunately I have to turn in my character study today. I was enjoying it, but I am proud of my work so I am glad to turn it in as well. While I didn't get as much revising done as I hoped, I still think my character study of Ebenezer Scrooge is good. First of all, my project meets the requirements of a 4. I used plenty of academic language and elaborated on that. I tried to make the character study sound as professional as I could, and I also connected everything with details and smooth transitions. This character study is probably my best example of connection. My writing all connects to the main theme of Scrooge’s dynamic change. On top of that, all of these elaborated details are connected with smooth transitions. I found things in common with the different details, and connected them using that. For example, here is a transition from my writing:
“After we see how he became the miser he is, we realize how Scrooge probably does have some good deep inside of him. When the second ghost comes, the Ghost of Christmas Present, we start to see a little bit of this inside goodness come out of him.”
The common detail in the Ghost of Christmas Past and the Ghost of Christmas Present is how the Ghost of Christmas Past makes us realize how Scrooge has some good, and the Ghost of Christmas Present starts to bring out this goodness. My transitions were something I worked really hard on in my character study, and they are very helpful to make my writing connected.

The second (and last) requirement for a 4 is for the study to be creative, engage the reader, and help the reader learn something new. For the creativity, I was creative in a few different ways. My transitions were creative, first of all. Also, my way of giving the information was creative. While a standard 5 paragraph essay in the form of an introduction, 3 body paragraphs, and a conclusion isn't necessarily creative, the way I connected everything to the main goal was creative. Usually if I were to do a character study such as this one, I would have an introduction on how Scrooge is a complex character. Then I would have 3 separate body paragraphs on different parts of Scrooge. However, with this character study, I decided to focus on one thing and show that in chronological order. I have never done that before, and I think (at least for me), it is a little unconventional. The second part of the last requirement is to engage the reader. The biggest way I engage the reader is in the introduction. In the introduction, I basically try to lay out what the entire study is going to be about, and give some background information. I like doing this because if I am a reader, I want to read the first few sentences and see if I am interested. Another way I engage the reader is by being vague in the beginning. I give some details but not enough for the reader to know what the entire study is going to say. I do this to engage the reader and make them read the study. Lastly, the last part of the requirement is to help the reader learn something new. In my study, I give a lot of deeper information. Maybe the reader wasn’t able to make deeper connections on how and why Scrooge changed. Maybe the reader didn't understand why Scrooge became such a miser. I doubt the reader knew that Scrooge represents the rich in Victorian Britain and the story is trying to motivate the rich to give more (in Victorian Britain). There is a lot of information I give that the reader probably doesn't know, and unless you have already done a study on Scrooge, you will probably learn something new.

That should be it. I gave examples on how I met the requirements of a 4 and explained them. However, before I turn this in, I want to talk a little bit more. I learned a ton while doing this study, which is one of the main reasons we did this (other than to learn how to write a study). I enjoyed this project, and I hope we are able to do more studies because I learn a lot and I like the format. Anyway, that should be it. I met the requirements of a 4 with ease and learned a lot, what more could you ask? Have fun grading the rest of these character studies.

Wow.

Just wow.

The students did these character, book, author, or genre studies, and most of them were wonderful, and I learned so much. I learned about poets I need to read, books students were passionate about because they read them when they were children, genres I didn’t know existed, authors who wrote in multi-age platforms.

Most especially, I learned more about the passions of my students, and that was a gift. For over two and a half years, I’ve had these students, and I’ve learned from them and helped them explore their passions, but now, as they are grown in confidence, they have also grown in a self-wisdom that moves me beyond words. This happens, every 8th grade year, I know. And every year, it doesn’t surprise me, but it seems to sneak up on me, these young adults, these funny, silly, wise, mature, crazy, calm, deep, intense, young people.

Makes me want to latch on and keep them for another three years.

It also makes me get a little teary.

I always wonder what moves us all as people, as teachers. I am fortunate that I work closely with my beloved and respected colleagues, and I learn from their perspectives, what they notice, what connections they make.

Goal: publish my blog once a week (Gah! I wrote that!)
Gratitude: a career that keeps me growing. Students who astound me and make me a better person.

2 Comments

A Post about my last post

9/24/2018

6 Comments

I had always hoped to be my most authentic self as a teacher. It took a while to trust myself in this process, but it was always my greatest goal, to be myself, my vulnerable, real self. I have realized recently that I’m there. Blogging has been the thing that has pushed me there the most. I wonder what other educators have set for goals, and how they measure that.

One of the earliest mentors in my teaching career, years before I even taught, was a special education teacher at a middle school in Boulder. She asked me what I most looked forward to, in being a teacher. I didn’t hesitate: “helping students find their voice.” This teacher told me I was already a teacher and would do well. She told me most teachers told her decorating their rooms. That shocked me, but that’s another blog.

So, twenty-five years later, that’s still my goal, to help students find their voices. And I’m feeling like I’m helping more and more. I’m inspired by some recent replies to my latest blog.

I had responses from a former student, a current student, and a former classmate.

These connections are amazing. And humbling.

I’m moved that my former classmate replied to my blog, I’m enlightened by her wisdom and how she perceives my own. I’m moved by the words of my former student, who must be in her late 20’s, still holds me in a place of inspiration and who seeks wisdom from me (really, she is smart…).

But the words of my current student move me in such a different way.

It’s Friday afternoon, the day after I published my last blog, and I’m pretty tired from a long short week (why are short weeks so long?). It’s been a great day, not without blips, but that’s par for the course in middle school. So, I come in from outside duty, and I sit down to check my email. There is a comment on my blog from an “Abby”. I read it. It’s beautiful, amazing, and humbling. There is no last name, so I click into my blog, and I see who it is.

My student. I re-read her words, and I start crying. I’m moved beyond I can describe. This is what she wrote in response to my last blog.

You are a seriously developed human. An odd way of saying that, I know, but also the best, in my opinion. Fear is something we all deal with. As a student, I have a good amount of fear to get past. One tip I can offer is pretend you are a protagonist. Pretend you are fighting your way past your problems. Write yourself analogies of how its hard, of what is happening, making it sound like a very intense and hyped-up book. Because protagonists always win, in one way or another. Make yourself into a book, and read it. see yourself from another prospective. It also helps when you really don't want to continue your homework. Pretending you are in an epic montage is quite motivational, if I do say so myself.

Anyways, now that we covered that, lets talk about what a good job you did. Uploading is hard. Because once its there, people see it. But trust me, the people who see it are just going to grow to know you more. If you don't like it, that's okay. I don't exactly love myself at all times, but i keep going because its what we do. We love your uploads. All of them. And if everything is falling apart, that's fine. Pretend its fine until it is. It will be.

We all believe in you, and your writing, and we love your blogs(and your flattering remarks about your students). Keep it up!

Where do I begin? I need to begin with what impresses me the most, the thing I value the most. My student is reaching out to me as a fellow human. We are equals in this sharing. She read my words, and she wanted to engage in my thinking and feeling and share her advice.

Then, there is her advice. It’s brilliant, wise, creative. I should see myself as a protagonist fighting the conflicts of all great stories. Because “all protagonists win, in one way or another”. And, then, she says this idea helps her with homework. The juxtaposition of huge problems to daily real problems, from the wisdom of an eighth grader, well, it humbles me.

And then, her other advice about how I should risk people knowing me better. And that it doesn’t matter how people feel when they know me better. These words from my student, when I try desperately to help students feel that message.

So, I’m humbled, deeply.

And here is the biggest thing about Abby reaching out to me human-to-human. She is empowered. She is reading my work as an authentic piece of writing, and she’s being her real authentic audience self. And she’s empowered to engage. That’s what made me get welled up with tears when I read her words on Friday afternoon. There is no greater hope for me than that my students feel empowered to think, learn, reason, own their own thoughts and actions, create, reach out, make change happen.

And feel empowered to reach out to her teacher.

What a gift.

Thank you, Abby.

Gratitude: the technology that keeps me in touch, in a deep and meaningful way with others.

Goals: keep putting myself out there and risking others knowing me.

6 Comments

My past 12 rough draft blogs into one mash-up blog.

9/4/2018

8 Comments

I’m so far behind in this blog. I’ve written twelve blogs since last April and have published none of them. Here are the reasons why:

Fear
Things got too personal
I didn’t like how I wrote and lost steam on revising
I lost focus on what I wanted to say
Fear
Things got too personal

There are a lot of other reasons, but those are the main reasons. I’m going to do a quick verbal mash-up of what has been going on with my twelve (or more blogs):

   Caveat: I’m okay, really:)
   I’ve been thinking about teaching in ways that are the same as they’ve always been and also so different, and I can’t explain it without a few years off to study this (fear); I have had lots of family and friend stuff going on (things too personal); I wrote about pedagogy, ideas, student choice and voice, and it sounded preachy and pedantic (fear); I wrote about how I am good with thinking differently because I have an online PLN that supports my thinking (along with my teaching cohort) (fear); I wrote about how much less work it is to personalize learning with technology and feared teacher response (fear). More stuff happened to friends and loved ones and has activated that go-to response and has exhausted me and makes me think I can’t quite take anything else (fear and too personal).

   There you have it: the subject of all my blogs that were layered under the context of really good things. Here is the mash-up of all the good stuff I left behind:

   Caveat: I’m hoping this shows I really am okay:)

   Student choice allows students to have an authentic entry into learning; students’ voices are heard from the smallest items to the largest class-changing procedures; students can safely fail; students love learning and own it; students move me to learn, think, grow, every day. What that last sentence just said x30.

   I’m more excited than ever to be a teacher. This school year, two weeks in, has been rough on me personally. I’ve been sick, busy with taking care of others, making sure I take care of myself, and...well, lots of other things. But being back to school has been the balm my soul has needed. My 8th graders are:

Charming
Funny
Compassionate
Filled with curiosity
Surprising
Hard working
Not-So-Hardworking
Silly
Soulfull
Themselves.

So, here. I braved this fear and am publishing this. I needed to just reach out and write a blog. I will ask my students to hold me accountable for weekly blogs. And these 8th graders will do it.

And I ask my students to remind me, when I forget, to remember their lives, all that they have in their lives. All the good. All the challenges. All that they fear. How it holds them back. And how we can move forward. How I can help them.

Gratitude: my students and my community of learners at school and online. And, Danny. And Emily.

Goal: put aside more fear so that my blogs reach more heartstrings.

P.S: to my 8th graders: Ms. Millikan described this blog as one big mindset. What do you think?

8 Comments

Labels, Let's not

4/9/2018

1 Comment

I’ve confessed this in the public arena, but here I go again. I wasn’t a great student. Neither was my husband.

We got it figured out once we moved to Colorado, took classes, established residency, and put ourselves through CU.

But back when we were in Junior High and High school, we were not engaged. We both have natural curiosity and loved to learn. We both love to read. Reading is pretty much all I did for as long as I can remember. When I was in Junior High I think I read 3-5 books a week. Probably more.

We both took different paths to becoming teachers. Danny wanted to be a veterinarian, so he studied science. I wanted to be a psychologist, so I studied psychology. Danny realized (after volunteering at a veterinarian’s) that he didn’t like the human side of veterinary practice, mostly the irresponsible pet owners. But he realized he loved studying science. I realized I loved learning about psychology, but it wasn’t my passion.

So, I switched to English literature, my real passion. It was a passion I ignored when I was told I wasn’t a good reader and writer.

Danny switched to biological science.

Then, I realized that the best “job” for an English Lit major was to be an English teacher.

I had never thought about being a teacher, but I remembered so many of my high school friends telling me I’d be a good teacher. I had always laughed at that because I wasn’t even a good student.

So, I explored it. I went to a middle school in Boulder to visit a few classrooms. The day I went, there was an all-school assembly, and the entire middle school was raucously walking to the gym. The presentation was engaging, and I laughed and was intrigued along with the students. When I met up with the first teacher, she asked me how I was doing, coming into the school on such a crazy day. I lit up and said I loved it. I loved the energy. She nodded and told me I must be meant to be a middle school teacher.

At another school, I observed a special education teacher who was phenomenal. When we met one on one, she asked me what I most looked forward to in teaching. I immediately responded with “getting to know the students and helping them find their voices.” She told me I was a teacher already and would be great. She told me most people answered that with “setting up my classroom”. That shocked me. But it made me realize I was on the right path. I loved the crazy energy of middle schoolers, and apparently I had the right attitude.

As I was moving my educational path toward teaching, Danny realized he wanted to teach. My energy and excitement was a part of his thought process, but he realized something way before I did. He realized that he wanted to teach because he wasn’t a happy student.

Danny wanted to be the teacher who cared about students’ ideas, and he wanted to be a part of a collective curiosity that explored, learned, and grew.

One of my administrators once told me there were two “types” of teachers: those who were good students and those who were not. More labels.

Well, with regard to that label, we were the not. And it has made all the difference.

In my last blog I said I’d tackle labels. Well, here they are:

Lazy
That kid
That kid that’s like that other kid
Doesn’t care
Won’t try
Does everything but what they need to do
All they care about is…
They’ll never change
All they want to do is...

I could go on. I wonder sometimes what labels teachers had for me, and for Danny. I’m guessing I was labelled as lazy and only wanting to read.

Lazy is a label. It’s easy. But it’s a label. And it’s not right to call anyone lazy. I sometimes say I’m lazy when I spend Saturday morning on the couch watching old movies, but it’s just something I need. I don’t let students say they’re lazy. What they are is disinterested. We all have wildly different interests and passions. I have a student who called himself lazy, but he’s putting together a proposal for a huge online gaming competition. He’s not lazy. He’s selective.

Labels help. They categorize, so we can shorthand a conversation. But, they don’t belong in our human avocation in teaching. We must find the gold in the student. We must keep trying to help them find the gold. We must be relentless in this.

I see myself sometimes understanding one student’s lack of follow-through and then not understanding another’s, and it jars me how easy it is to judge, to label. I have this one student whom I get on so much, and then I wonder why I get on this student but not another? After all these years, I have so much to learn and so many places to grow.

So, I am on a mission to not label and to help others to not label. Serendipitously, Danny just came by to tell me a story about a student and about a quote he’d wanted to share with her. This is not a direct quote. It is the idea:

“Your life is your own path and no one can have the same one.”

Because we are all on different paths, we should seek to understand, not judge. Not label.

I’m curious to know how other educators frame their thinking with students who don’t fit a “norm.”

Goal: Keep working on empathy.
Gratitude: That I wasn’t that good student. That Danny wasn’t that good student. That we really try to understand all of our students. That we get to be teachers.

Gratitude 4.0: Logan Rosebrock, a student who designed my new Happy Blogah banner. All he wanted was for me to post a new blog post and credit the banner. I need to do more for him. And...a shout out to all the amazing banners that students submitted.

Next Up: Lots of ideas, but I’m in Happy Smackah and track season, so I’m busy and not being as reflective as I should be. I’m thinking that I want to blog about how amazing my students are. I cannot even begin to express how authentic their work is.

1 Comment

Building Steam...Whatever that looks like

1/29/2018

0 Comments

I have written about five blogs in the past few months, but I keep losing steam with publishing. I am not certain why, but I’ve been thinking about it.

I’ve been thinking about it because I’m a teacher, and I encourage my students to think about what gets in their way when:

They get distracted
Get a “giving up” mindset
Don’t use grit
Don’t want to grapple
Are having a rough time with friends/family
Are confused by who they are
Avoid work/thinking/tasks
Don’t know what they want or need
Any other thing that might get in their way with moving forward with their work

So, what’s been getting in my way? One thing I know is that my teaching partner Emily has been out on maternity leave, and I bounce so many ideas off of her and have her do the final proofread on it. Given our goals and pedagogy are the same, I rely on her. So, perhaps I need to work on being too reliant. If only so that I trust my voice, on my own. Flying without a net, so to speak.

I reflect on my own learning with as much transparency as possible. This blog is about that.

When Emily was out on maternity leave, another former student of mine, Heather, filled in for her. It was seamless in so many ways. Heather is not just a former student, her son is also a former student. So, she knew what we do from a few perspectives, and she loves it. She came in fully understanding the personalization of learning, of the focus on learning, not grades or coercion. Heather was an asset, and I could not believe my luck.

And, I did have to learn a few more tricks. I was, for the first time, the “tech guru” in this relationship. So, I was pushed. That’s a good thing. A very good thing.

I will say, I was pushed just enough. I’m so glad Emily is back. Of course. I enjoyed another person’s perspective and learned a lot. With Emily back, I’m cognizant of how our strenghts build each other up. I’m also cognizant of when I can and should let Emily take care of something I could do. We have the most amazing cohort relationship. We are sympatico.

I’m thinking my lack of published blogging was because I was thinking but working in a different way. I wasn’t freed-up to have the luxury of processing. That’s a hyperbole for sure, but I was in a different space.

So, back to who matters: my students. If I have a mindset that makes it hard to do more when I’m busy, what about our students? They don’t have the luxury, overall, of being in complete control of their work flow. As an adult, I do. And I have so much that gets in the way of moving forward, and I have complete choice about how I see and evaluate things.

Students are not in control of their daily schedule, expectations of their work, the timeline of their work, working when they have the right energy, in the right circumstances. I could go on.

The vision Emily and I have for our classes gives students as much choice and voice as possible. We have a daily inquiry question, but then, students are on thier own with their learning. Our guidance comes in many forms, with the big picture ideal that we are all in agreement that we are all seeking to become better readers, writers, and thinkers. When students make choices about their work, we ask them, “is this the right choice for what you need?”

It’s a question they answer for themselves. We don’t need to know. They do. The answer is always yes. Sometimes, it’s a compicated flowchart of yes. But it’s always yes. I have a student who is identified as g/t in math and reading. The other day, he was sitting at is desk drawing on his iPad. I asked him if he needed to do that right now. He shook his head. I thought about it. Thought about him. Then called him over. He does that a lot. Gets off-track with drawing, seemingly off-topic research. I asked him about his thinking process. Long story short, that meandering he does, is part of his thinking process.

I meander a lot. I need to walk a lot before settling into work. I need to read a lot of things that don’t seem to fit perfectly into my work, before I work. I sometimes need to stare out the window.

I’m not interested in teaching compliance. I’m interested in teaching students to trust who they are and to trust those that care about who they are.

Teachers do so many cool and crazy things to help students feel comfortable and safe in their learning spaces. I’m wondering what tips and tricks others have.

Goal: to not lose sight of the needs of each and every individual student.
Gratitude: Having Emily back.

Next up: we need to stop using labels. All labels.

0 Comments

My Guest blog

11/5/2017

3 Comments

Months ago, I was asked to write a guest blog for a group of educational bloggers devoted to increasing the opportunity for authentic learning by going gradeless. This group of educators, TG2Chat, explores the possiblities of putting learning and authenticity at the front of the classroom by eliminating grades. These teachers, the moderaters and creators of the group, and their hundreds of followers who are connected by this shared passion have pushed my work and thinking, but they’ve also given me an “at last” feeling of connection. It isn’t about grades. It’s about learning. It’s about leveraging critical thinking over compliance. It’s about putting inquiry at the center, not the game of grades.

Yes, I still grade and give grades, but there has been a huge shift away from a number of grades into more feedback. Lots more feedback. And this is at the center of the TG2 group, finding ways to have students focus on learning and growing and not playing the grades game.

I’ve expressed before how using the writer’s workshop model has been an otherwise solo adventure. When my former student became my teaching partner, fully bought into the ideology of student choice and voice, pushed me into the greater realm of efficient work flow with technolgy, our classrooms exploded with even more possiblity. All of this work made me seek more connections. I started blogging with no purpose other than to spit out my thoughts as they were churning. Then, I pushed out my blog onto social media platforms. My Twitter connections grew, and I got involved in amazing conversations, chats, blog-sharing, and ultra-learning.

And I got connected, thanks to a local teacher, ironically, to the TG2chat folks. We connect via a private Facebook group, a public Twitter group, and a private Twitter chat. How lucky I am to be a part of all these great minds and hearts. I’m learning, and I’ll say this, as selfish as it sounds: It’s comforting to have my thinking and ideology validated.

So, this blog I wrote for this group was a huge learning experience for me. I got pushed in all ways from thinking to using Wordpress and learning all kinds of new-to-me terms with technology and social media. This old dog keeps learning.

Here is the blog I wrote for TG2Chat. In keeping with the conventions of their blog platform, I left out my goals and gratitude.

Here goes:

Goals: Keep up this learning pace.
Gratitude: That I get to keep learning. Oh, and also, that our new kitten is so sweet, and the cats are all settling into a mutual respect with hints of more fun to come.

3 Comments

Reading and Re-reading and writing

8/31/2017

0 Comments

We had back to school night last week, and it’s exciting to talk about the start of the school year with our amazing community. I usually start my language arts spheel with what I hope is a calming tonic to their ears.

Students’ reading practices can change in middle school. For many, students keep reading as they always have. Many of them though, back off a bit. Even the passionate readers.

It’s all a function of topic, reading level, hormones, lack of sitting still long enough, etc.

My mantra is that parents should keep modeling a reading lifestyle, reading to each other, talking about books, and avoiding too much pressure or any, about reading. They will come out of this. That’s what I promise. Every time I promise this I worry a bit about the few who may not. But those are other conversations and interventions.

More than the slow down for many in reading, parents worry about how often their student re-reads books, especially “lower level” books.

Here is where I get enervated and absolutely confident. Re-reading is what writers do.

I’m going to repeat this. Re-reading is what writers do. I know this as a writer, but also from patterns over time as a teacher. I will be frank, though, about where my absolute confidence comes from. Stephen King writes about this in his book on Writing, “On Writing”. One of his biggest premises is how writers grow through in-depth study of worlds crafted by others. When students want to keep living in these most-often fictional worlds, they are creating a sense of how they want the world to be in the worlds that they live in within their imaginations.

I’m a writer, and I re-read far more than I pick up new books. To push myself, I read new books and poems, but I mostly revert to the worlds that make sense to me in their style, flourish, feeling.

I’m currently listening to James Herriots’ All Creatures Great and Small Books on Audible. I have a 20+ minute drive to and from work, and I love listening to books as I drive. So, I’m listening to these books (I’m on the third in the series), and I own the entire set in paperback (maybe my DH will buy me a nice hardback set one of these days). I’ve read them all no fewer than five times each. The first one, I have read over fifteen times. I have also binge-watched the BBC series a few times. I love this world. It’s about history, England, animals, and amazing characters.

But just today, I realized, as I finished the second book, as James Herriot is headed off to serve in the Royal Air Force during WW1, ten minutes from school, tears running down my cheeks, why I love these books so much. I thought it was the stories of animals, history, charming real-life characters, and the portrait of the rugged Yorkshire landscape. But today, at the end of the book, as he is describing his gratitude for living as he does, I realized that what I love about his books is his lens on gratitude. He’s a storyteller, brilliant, amusing, hilarious, heart-warming and heart-wrenching. But all of his stories have the theme of his gratitude. Even when he is trudging through a blizzard after no sleep, and no idea where he is, he appreciates life. Even after yet another crusty farmer disrespects his work and aggravates the situation, he has gratitude. Even when the lonely old widower has to have his long-time companion, his dog, put down, he has gratitude for being a part of this.

He appreciates life. All of life. His self-deprecation, eye for raw beauty, and his wry wit are all a part of the appreciation he has for everything.

When I started blogging when Danny was hospitalized in 2011, I created a theme of gratitude.

I did not know it then, but I had learned that in many ways, through my family, through friends, through Danny. And I learned it as my soul learns, through stories. Through narratives that are more real than life.

It is why I love those books by James Herriot.

It is why I am blogging about teaching. I have deep gratitude for every moment I learn from others, from my students who gift me with their hearts, minds, and souls.

I wish I could express myself as James Herriot does, but I’m grateful that I can keep working at honing that craft.

I have gratitude for re-learning through rereading. I appreciate how much I understand because I have lived in so many lives outside my own through the gift of others. It’s why I know students who love to read will always love to read if things stay positive, and if they have choice about what they read, and how often they re-read, even if those stories, those ideas are maybe “lower”. A story is a story, and reading is reading. We’ll all keep reading if we enjoy it.

Goal: Keep writing and sharing and learning. Keep these lessons in my heart. Keep learning and growing with my students.

Gratitude: Oh, everything. The deer eating our garden tonight, munching and looking at us with complete innocence. Our cats who silly up our lives. My family and Danny’s family. Our friends and colleagues. This night sky that is slow to darken tonight. The fresh dill I bought at the farm stand tonight.

0 Comments

meeting them where they are right then and there

8/25/2017

3 Comments

I’ve had a pretty exciting first few weeks of school. All of it is about the students, but I’m going to start with being self-centered.

First: I just discovered, and I’m pretty sure this is accurate: this is my 25th year of teaching. I think I’ve spent the last five years telling my students I’ve taught for 20, 25, a hundred, a million, 23, and over 22 years. I’m going to try to to be consistent this year about the exact year.

On to the really exiciting news from the past few weeks. When I started a million, I mean, 25 years ago, I was revved up by Nancie Atwells’ “In the Middle.” I started out teaching with the workshop model, and I’ve never looked back.

Then, Ralph Fletcher entered the Writer’s Workshop realm and my sphere with “What a Writer Needs.” His work innovated and pushed my current workshop model.

Nancie Atwell and Ralph Fletcher have been my gurus for the last 25+ years.

I have long fantasized that I would meet Nancie Atwell sometime while I’m back in my homestate, which is her homestate: Maine. My sister lives not far from her school, and I keep hounding my sister to find someone who knows her, who can get me in to meet her.

I don’t have that geographical connection with Ralph Fletcher. I have something better. Twitter. Over the past few years, I’ve built up my online PLNs through Twitter. I’ve built a community and sub-communities of shared colleagiality on Twitter. Some of my communities are all about writer’s workshop models, but all of them are about personalized learning, student agency, and student choice.

I’ve been so lucky to meet and know so many amazing educators who inspire me daily, and usually, minute by minute.

Okay, I need to go back 25 years ago again. When I started my classroom with the writer’s workshop model, there were only a few of us that I knew of in the district who embraced the model. Over time, I had lost any connections with other workshop model teachers.

Over time, I did that cliche teacherly thing, and I “hid” how I taught and avoided being collegial. I couldn’t relate to other teachers because, though so many did (and do!) amazing things that I learned from, I had nothing to give them. I had a model and modality. I did not have “stuff.” I did not have resources or lessons. I had nothing to give them.

Social media: blogs and Twitter have changed me. I am now contributing and learning because I’m connecting with others who use a workshop/constructivist model of teaching, and we’re learning from each other. I’m energized.

I need to back up yet again. This all started when my former student became my teaching partner, and grassphopper became the master. She nudged me like a stubborn mule to elevate the workshop model into a more streamlined approach, leveraging all of our technology.

My philosopy and practice and ideology has not changed. What’s different is using technology to enhance the workshop model. So, though it’s the same, technology allows the true nature of a workshop, the organic nature workshop, to thrive.

A few weeks ago, I came across a tweet from Ralph Fletcher:

I was so excited. First, I did not even think about finding my guru on Twitter. Second, here he was in real time honoring what I do: plan on the fly.

My teaching is organic, and many people think that means “winging it.” I’ve had a lot of people ask me the difference, and it’s a good question. Superficially, they seem similar. All good teachers are good at winging it and enjoying it (usually) when it happens. The difference is in intent.

Winging it is when you have a plan and something goes wrong, so you have to wing it. This is a much needed skill most teachers have.
Winging it is when you don’t have a plan and need to wing it. All teachers have had to do this for some reason.
- In this scenario, and in the above scenario, there is an organic component, and it’s why when it happens, it’s not a terrible thing. All teachers can do this and feel the success of holding things together and even having teachable moments.
Organic teaching is a planned approach to reacting and interacting with the dynamic nature of class. It is that “plan-on-the-fly” Ralph Fletcher refers to.
Organic teaching starts with a goal (daily,weekly, etc.), but allows daily class dynamic to ebb and flow the work and focus.
It’s individualized. It’s reactive not just to daily feedback, but to class feedback. It informs instruction daily. The teacher needs to change plans “on the fly.”

Conversely, many teachers plan tightly, and understandably, but they say things like, “I can’t do such-and-such on this date because my students will be doing X,Y, or Z (presenting, testing, etc.).” My idea of the organic approach (and yea, Ralph Flettcher for supporting this!), is that the goals of learning flow with the needs of the students. I cannot imagine honing a presentation date for something for all students into a certain time chunk.

I keep using the pronoun “I,” but I speak for Emily too. She reads through all of these blogs and gives me content and editing feedback.

I speak for both of us when I speak of what we do in the classroom and what we believe. Most of our cohort meetings are about philosophy, not minutiae. Most of what we communicate about are stories of what our students share with us.

I started this blog post with my two exciting things. The first was actually pinning down how many years I’ve taught. The second is about how exciting it was to follow Ralph Fletcher on Twitter.

Dorking out here. Following Ralph Fletcher is exciting, but I’m human, and I’m just dorking out about this:

My guru is following me on Twitter! I don’t know how it happened, but it did. The amazing thing is, he is only following a few hundred people, and thousands are following him. I’m just….I’m just...swooning!

And better still, I was enboldened to thank him for his leadership, and I did. I tweeted directly to him. And then this:

In all the million years I’ve taught, I’ve never been so humbled and excited and dorked out.

Goal: stop the hyperbole about how long I’ve taught. Keep feeling the gratitiude.
Gratitude: the people who push me and lift me up and make me better, the people in my in-person and online communities who lead and encourage and help us all to empathize with the humanity in the classroom.

3 Comments

Weekly Emails

7/4/2017

0 Comments

I’m currently working on a book project about the procedures Emily and I have incorporated with technology. I’m re-reading some of my blog posts to make sure I keep my voice in this project. The book will be part theory (the why) and part nuts and bolts (the how). The thing about the how is that it’s really quite simple. We don’t employ all kinds of crazy-great technology; we use the technology to allow students full voice and choice.

Some of the things that have evolved in our procedures cannot be extricated from the why to the how. One of our favorite new procedures is having our students write an email every week to their parents.

I’ve mentioned this in a few blog posts, but I thought it deserved its own post. The inception for this idea came from a recent ed-tech discussion. I was engaging with the TG2chat this past Sunday, and one of my responses was about the emails. Today is Tuesday, and I keep getting notifications of retweets and likes on that tweet. I’ve had people contact me for more information, and I’ve somehow, from that one tweet, built up my followers by 50+ educators.

In my book project, I had a section devoted to the email, so I thought I’d kill two birds and blog about it and use part of this for my chapter on emailing.

So, here goes.

With our class structure, we have Mondays and Tuesdays devoted to “writing” days. Because students have almost full choice in what they are working on every day, they can write any and all days (or read, or research), but we have our daily questions focused on writing on Mondays and Tuesdays. Tuesdays is email day, so usually our question is geared toward getting them to reflect on themselves as learners, so they can incorporate some deeper, metacognitive ideas into their emails.

The purpose of the emails:

To inform their parents about what they’re learning.
For students to feel more empowered with their learning experiences.
To include teachers who need insight into what kind of help they need.
For students to self-reflect on where they are and where they need to go.
To keep the dialogue from school to family focused on the student’s perspectives.
To practice writing in a semi-formal style with a platform they’ll be using for a long time.

Those are the “whys” of the email, but it has evolved into so many unforeseen advantages.

Parents have embraced the email and usually “reply all” with information about themselves in this education triangle. This insight into the family life broadens and deepens my understanding of the student’s needs.
Students are beyond empowered. They take such pride in their emails, and they show their style and can practice honing their communication style. Some of my students bend over backwards trying to entertain us all, some attempt to be as concise as possible while still delivering an entire picture of what they’re learning. Conversely, others try to use so much detail that they don’t just show what they’re learning; they are teaching us all the concepts. Others use days to craft the email to ensure it is their very best work. This blog post describes these processes.
Students share their thoughts in their emails in their fresh, unique voice, and all of their teachers benefit from what they share. It’s sometimes as simple as “I don’t understand how to find the area of a surface,” but more often, it’s feedback about the class, about the structure of school, about their fears and stresses, and what they enjoy. All of that perspective allows us to help them individually, but more often as a whole. We have changed things that students don’t like, done more of what they do like, and it’s all moving and changing.
The insight we get into students from their self-evaluation of their learning is deeply impactful to us in our instruction and in our humanity. I had one student who wrote about how he loved language arts now, and he had, in the past, struggled and been below grade level. He wrote about how well he was doing and how he was now “at grade level,” and he was proud and inspired. This student “tested” still at just below grade level, but his work was proficient and advanced. I will never tell this student his “test” scores. They are a programmed test that I have no control over. I do have control over how he feels in the classroom. His confidence and pride will take him where he needs to go.
Having the students’ perspectives, from their voice, fully explained, of course delivers an amazing insight. What became a nice surprise is how often parents got to hear things they didn’t hear when they asked, “how was school today?” Having students explain their perspective opened up the communication. The idea to have the onus on students helped parents step back more from the “helicopter role.”
Any writing is good writing practice, and it has always felt good, as an ELA teacher, to have students have authentic purpose for their writing. We allow students full choice in their daily writing, and the email was, of course, a great practice for a different style. They’ve incorporated everything they’re learning in all of their classes into these emails. They structure it carefully, as they’ve learned to in science and social studies, they pay attention to audience and work on voice and word choice, as they’ve learned in ELA.

I’ve had some educators ask how this can happen during the class time, given how much “other” we have to do. I contend there is no other work more important than having students self-reflect and reach out to others with their perspectives. As an ELA teacher, I’m not concerned with curriculum; I’m concerned with students growing as readers, writers, and thinkers. I don’t see any way that writing an email, with an authentic purpose and audience, isn’t essential. They are pulling together so many skills: developing ideas, organization, voice, word choice, purpose, topic, audience, and they are doing this on a continual basis. Besides the obvious writing practice, there are so many beneficial aftershocks. I can help students so much more, having this insight into their thoughts. This blog post about student agency explains that part a lot.

That’s all the why. Here’s for the how.

Our students use a daily work Google Doc (think spiral).
Every day, they answer a “big question.”
On email day, the question is about writing or a self-reflection that will help guide them in crafting their email.
They put the answer to that day’s question in their email.
They compose the email there and make revisions/edits.
They copy and paste their email into their school email account.
They CC me and any other teacher who needs to be contacted (for help or because of struggles in that class).

This is the email document that contains directions, exemplars, rubric.

Almost finally, for the why, I must quote a response on Twitter, “Writing for an audience you understand & care about nurtures better writing & relationships.All around”. Connie Blomgren @Docblom. I could not have summed this all up better!

And for fun. Here are just a few of the many great lines I get to read in these weekly emails:

Liewe Moeder Vader Suster,

I hope you all are having a splendid day. I started my email with
“Dear Mother, Father, and Sister,” in Afrikaans . my room is very
messy which as you know is rare. I hate it! I plan on taking care of
it tomorrow. Yesterday when I was making work, I look over, and the
next thing I know, my room has turned into a disaster!

Dear Mama,
How was your walk this morning with your friend? Was it nice?

Dear Mom,
I hope you are having a great day if not I hope this will make you day better. I am having an amazing day i can't wait for my concert.

Science
We’re learning about our carbon fiber footprint. Today we learned about how many earths it would take for everyone in the world to live like me. And it would take 8.1. That's not a good thing apparently.

P.S Can you make my bed?

Goal: Keep learning new ways to help students find their voices.
Gratitude: Getting to hear my students’ voices.

0 Comments

<<Previous

February 11, 2020. A personal Reflection.

This old Dog is learning a lot more from the young'uns.

A Post about my last post

My past 12 rough draft blogs into one mash-up blog.

Labels, Let's not

Building Steam...Whatever that looks like

My Guest blog

Reading and Re-reading and writing

meeting them where they are right then and there

Weekly Emails

Author

Archives

Categories