My story is supposed to be funny. Just to give you context and a goal.
We have two cats: a male (10 years old) and a female (4+ years old). They have a very unique relationship. When we first got Thea (pronounced Tia), Cecil was an excellent big brother, and he protected her from the wrath of our alpha female Scout (who we sadly had to put down over a year ago). He protected her, and he taught her the lay of the land. He showed her where the treats were; he showed her how to let us know if we let the food or water bowls go unfilled for too long. In case you’re interested, the technique is to rub up against us, meow, and then make us follow them to the bowls.
The best thing he showed her though, was the basket of toys. He would go to the basket of cat toys and pull one out, play with it, then make sure he left it for her. He would bring her toys until he saw her play with them.
Cats are nocturnal, and I have long thought that we had the noisiest cats ever. I’ve been assured that there are a lot of noisy cats (my insomniac friend Kris has told me some funny stories about not being able to sleep at her friends’ house because of the antics of the cats). So, one night the cats were making a racket like I’d never heard before. Both my husband and I kept waking up. We never got up to see what they were up to. We just kept dozing back to sleep. The next morning, we saw what the racket was about.
Every single cat toy was out of the basket and strewn about the entire main floor of our house. The basket was on its side, rolled far from its spot on the hearth. Backstory here: we have no kids.
We have cats.
The cats have a lot of toys.
Literally, every cat toy had been played with. Every single toy was strewn about from near the basket, through the kitchen and bathroom and into the downstairs den. But most of them were still relatively together like a deck of cards dropped for a game of 52 pickup.
Thea, then a kitten, sat proudly next to one of the stuffed birds, as if she single-handedly had killed it.
Cecil, the tutor and instigator, looked at us with guilt. He slunked away from the mess, but not too far. He kept his eye on his protege. When he heard our tones of laughter and delight, he stretched and came back out. He even gave a stuffed mouse a shove, letting us know he was complicit in the midnight kitty party.
Goal: Introduce the SOL to my students for more authentic writing and sharing.
Gratitude: Cats that make me laugh.
For my students (who I ask to self-evaluate everything they do): Here is my self-evaluation: I tried to use sentence fluency (especially the use of short and incomplete sentences) and short paragraphs to make the story have more of an impact. I did not spend a lot of time revising it. Most of my revisions were on the sentence fluency. If I took more time on it, I would try to also revise the word choice. I’m sure I could have used different words for better impact. I did struggle to write this story as funny stories are hard to write. I usually tell funny stories and use my tone of voice and gestures. I have another story I’m working on, but I do think I’d like to get back to this and see how much I can make it better.
I went back about three hours after my initial drafting and revising and added more paragraphs (to break it up and slow it down more as I would if I were orally telling the story). I also added that simile with the 52 pickup card game. I’m not sure if I like it, but I do think it adds a needed picture.
Of course, I would benefit from some feedback.
Further note: please note I did not self-evaluate with a grade. I self-evaluated how I worked, what I worked on, and what I could do better.
P.S. My photo re-enecactment was a big success. Thea played with just about every toy. The funniest thing to me is how she plays with that big orange ball that I think is a dog toy left here from a dogsitting stint.